During the last couple of weeks I've been such a lucky bugger, and boy do I know it.
It's true that I have my ailments; we all do. I have my worries about where my life is heading and where I can realistically go from here. I look in the mirror and I suddenly find wrinkles I didn't see the previous day. I've started to consider that perhaps it's time to tame my hair colour so I don't wake up one day and wonder who put this brightly coloured helmet on a middle aged woman. "Just who do you think you're trying to kid?!".
Then there are those days that are sent from... well if I was religious I suppose I'd say 'heaven', so because I'm not I'm opting instead for 'under the duvet all snuggly warm with nowhere to be'. Yes, that's it. Let me start that again...
Then there are those days that are sent from under the duvet all snuggly warm with nowhere to be. Those days mainly involve my beautiful nieces, cake and singing. Occasionally they also involve pepperoni, but that's for another time.
I was lucky enough while I was off work for a week to have my two eldest nieces stay over for a couple of nights. They were dropped off by their dad and picked up by their mum, and the time in between was spent with Auntie Kirsty and Grandad. And what fun we had! I've come to realise the older they get (10 (Natasha) and 7 (and a half. We can't forget the half! - Abigail)) the more I value the time I spend with them. I want to talk to them more and hear their developing opinions. I want to understand who they are now before they grow up and the moment is lost, although each time I see them I realise just how quickly those moments disappear and how strikingly observant and intelligent they both are (granted, Abigail verbalises her observations in an astonishingly random and quirky way that leaves you going, "Huh?????", then laughing).
I love to teach those wonderful girls new things. This time I got to show them how to make chocolates; proper moulded and filled chocolates. I knew Abigail would need a little help, but what I didn't realise was how little help Natasha would need. I showed them how to make two chocolates. That's all, just two, and it only took a couple of minutes. Then I blinked and Natasha had almost finished filling her moulds, while Abigail was delightfully letting the spoon wave around between fingers with such a light grip it's a miracle the spoon was suspended at all. Her main concern, of course, was the willpower it took not to lick her fingers. I was later informed by their mum, my sister, that they spragged on me and said I licked my fingers even though I said they couldn't lick theirs. They omitted the fact that I did wait until the end, and they too were given permission to enjoy the stray, melted and messy chocolate!
They were both ever so proud of the chocolates they made, and (hopefully) gave to their dad for his birthday. They were perfectly formed and beautifully shiny, just as they should be, and I couldn't be more proud of them both.
The sense of satisfaction that comes from teaching our kids (and I refer to 'our' kids generally, not just our own offpsring) a skill is something immeasurable. The joy I took from watching them learn and adapt, and produce something beautiful was and still is wonderful. Let's not forget too that these little girls took such great care over making something that wasn't for them to enjoy afterwards (although yes, they did get to test one each, I'm not that cruel), it was something to give away to someone they love. That they put so much effort and concentration into doing something for someone else just makes it all even more fabulous.
Added to the fabulousness of my sister's girls, I also got to spend some time with my youngest niece, Hannah. At 18 months old she's an absolute joy to behold. She's all squidgy and funny and happy (not all the time, she's a toddler after all). In one moment she looks at you like you just said the most stupid thing in the world... ever... and in the next moment she's grinning a toothy old man grin with her wrinkled up nose and sparkly eyes. She commands the room in a way that even the most professional entertainer has to work their socks off at achieving. She's full of hope and promise, new ideas, weird and wonderful food combinations (onion hummous on bread dipped in apple pudding. I kid you not), giggles, expectation, excitement, and so much more. I love it; seeing what we all once were before the world grabbed us by the shoulders, shook us up and made us go out and make a living, clean the house and vote.
Am I babbling too long about this? I don't care. It makes me happy, and that's the point! Our kids are bloody fabulous, and I hope beyond all hope that they keep some of their excitement about life and treat it with a sense of adventure and wonder that most of us lost along the way. I spoke about teaching our kids, but perhaps we should be letting them teach us some more, too!
Okay, right, time to move on.
Choir! Oh yes, choir! Did you know that I joined a choir? Well yes, most of you probably do by now! It's Stockton Town Choir and I'll tell you a little more soon.
I've always loved singing but as I grew older my confidence gradually disappeared, and eventually the only time I sang was in the car or when no one was in the house. A few years ago I drank enough gin on a holiday in the Lakes with my family to join in with Singstar, and I can say with absolute certainty that Madonna and Elton John had nothing on us that night. Nothing.
Then last year I became involved in a TV show that helped to turn my life around. Most people probably didn't see it, and if they did they probably didn't spot me (I wasn't featured more than a few seconds here and there), but it was one of the best things I've ever done in my life. It helped to show me that I'm in charge. I don't have to be so nervous of trying new things or facing my fears, because as long as I make the decisions to do so I'm taking back control instead of it controlling me. The show achieved what it set out to do and so much more (and for anyone who did see the programme, since August 2012 I've only taken six antihistamines in total, instead of one every day!). Intrigued? Good. I need to have my fun somehow!
So after an interesting little discussion with my sister one day at her kitchen table, her idea of joining a choir also became a goal of mine. I knew that I wouldn't have the confidence to sing alone in front of people, but I was willing to try singing with a group of others and just seeing, or hearing, what came out. I didn't want a traditional style choir, however. I wanted something fun and different, something with a level of energy and enthusiasm that would pull me along with it instead of me trying to force my way through to the other side.
What I found was Stockton Town Choir. It's an eclectic group of people; different ages, genders and backgrounds. It's run by the wonderfully talented and hugely dedicated and passionate Mike McGrother, and quite honestly I can't imagine it surviving without him. He's the heart and soul of the choir, though he would probably disagree. Okay, perhaps he's the big heart and soul with lots of others in orbit around him. It creates one big, happy, fun, sometimes tentative but always smiling and sounding fabulous (yes we do, Mike!) choir of weird and wonderful people (yes, the weird ones know who they are, and we're all wonderful!).
I didn't realise how quickly my weekly attendance at the choir would become a pilgrimage in the middle of the week. It gets me through my working week with joy and laughter. I always enjoy the company I find there and the way I feel when I leave. I could float home instead of drive!
Add to all of this the purpose of the performances we're involved with, and suddenly I find I want to be a better person. I can hardly wait for the next performance and I've already swapped my working days around so I can be there (perhaps I should mention this to my boss too?!). I love the level of secrecy to our performances so far; it speaks to my inner child and she says, "Ner ner ner ner ner, I know and you don't!".
If you want to come along for a good old sing and a lot of laughter, you need to get down to Stockton - Green Dragon Studios sometime after 5:20pm on a Wednesday (fabulous food is laid on!), with singing from 6pm in the Georgian Theatre. If you can get there tomorrow (17th April), do so. It's a special evening with Maestro Mike's birthday celebration!
I've babbled heartily and I don't apologise for it; if you got this far down the post I reckon I did something right!
Just remember to smile a bit more, teach your kids a few more things, let them teach you too, and don't forget to sing, dagnammit!
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