For a lot of years I haven’t made any New Year’s resolutions because I know that I, like countless others, don’t stick to them. We have a habit of making up endless excuses for not achieving what are often unrealistic goals, we make ourselves feel bad and we’re ultimately less likely to make the positive changes we either feel we need to make or should make. I believe if someone wants to make a change in their life, they’ll do it regardless of the date, and that ‘need’ or ‘should’ no longer come into the equation; it’s want. I know from my own experience alone that if I want something badly enough I’ll find a way to do or get it. Obviously there are exceptions; men usually run faster than me, and I’m told I’m not allowed to lock them in a cupboard if I ever do catch one!
This time last year I made a list of things I wanted to achieve in 2013. Some of them fell by the wayside, others were realised with absolute joy, and gradually as the year went on some things were tagged onto the end of the list because they were wonderfully pleasant surprises that I can’t ignore. Those things tagged onto the end of my list in particular helped me to become the person typing this blog today. The person who wants more from life. The one who wants to do things for other people, to find something fulfilling to do with my days while still being able to pay the bills. The girl who is no longer content to watch others live their lives and wants to get out there and bloody well fight for every new day! It’s not at all that I’m about to turn 40. Nope.
In 2013 I found Stockton Town Choir, without which I would go stir crazy. I know this because a few weeks off over Christmas has me feeling restless and a little uneasy. I’ve previously said it’s my weekly pilgrimage, and it’s breaks like this that make me realise how true that’s become. The events and performances we did last year were surprising, varied and wonderful. From the positive vibes of #smile on Stockton High Street, to moving, thought provoking tunes in Stockton Library for their WW1 event, to fabulously festive songs at the Stockton Christmas lights switch-on, and not forgetting the rousing sing-alongs at the Storytellers pub and unofficial carol singing for little charity events, which let’s be honest, are never ‘little’ to the people they help.
Friendships have been made through Stockton Town Choir that were entirely unexpected. There are so many varied personalities, cultures and values, but we’re all brought together by common purposes; to sing, to smile, and to help others do the same while (hopefully) helping them to recognise their town isspecial and the heart is still there.
Through the choir I also, of course, found Matty’s Bistro, and I’ve been able to see just how much some individuals are willing to do to help others; selfless acts that while perhaps seeming small to the person at the time, are huge to the people they help. I was privileged to help out one day, and I asked one of the young people who’d finished the course only the day before what he’d be doing at that very moment if he wasn’t helping Matty. He shrugged and said, “Probably just sat watching TV”. As he said that he looked both a little embarrassed about the answer, but very proud of the fact he wasn’t sat at home in front of the TV. This young man went on to paid work straight from Matty’s Bistro, and he’s only one of many.
I managed to get some extra kitchen time in, and attempted many of the Great British Bake Off technical challenges, all of which were auctioned to raise money for Matty’s Bistro. I didn’t expect to raise more than double figures, but the final sum was £275. It’s testament to the generosity of so many people out there, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for digging deep, and in some cases crazily deep into your pockets. Repeatedly. I have to admit to being a little nervous of an invasion of moths when my poor, long-suffering dad opened his wallet, too!
I went completely against the grain and danced. In public. With TV cameras all over the place. I spent six hours in the baking sun on Stockton High Street while Diversity and their dedicated crews of local people with more energy than sense(!) street-danced us into exhaustion. And we danced. By ‘eck did we! I even did this with bright orange hair whilst halfway through a hair colour change. If I don’t spot me in the crowd with my orange hair-helmet and my bright red face, it will be a miracle. Or a blessing.
My life throughout 2013 has felt enriched and full. I’ve achieved more than I expected, experienced things I never thought I would, met people without whom my life would definitely be duller and sadder than it is, and discovered things about myself I never knew. I can only hope that 2014 will be half as lovely as 2013, and that I can overcome some more fears, meet more wonderful people, and help others to smile more and achieve more, too, even if that means pretending to be a French Hen in a Stockton shop doorway with a dozen other giggling/singing/mostly giggling people. The video is out there. Somewhere…
I haven’t yet made a list for 2014. If truth be told I’m a little nervous that the things I want to do will be just too big to reach, and that I’m not capable of jumping that high. But then I realise that as much as I want positive changes for myself (and in turn, others), I don’t actually know what or how to get there. So I suppose the top of my list should be to figure out what in the world I want to do! Something that enriches my life, I hope. Something that makes me feel like I’m doing something good.
So I don’t really have a list for 2014, but I do have a feeling. I have a feeling that the best is yet to come. I think light, love and success are just around the corner, but not without hard work, motivation and a good kick up the arse occasionally from some well-meaning friends!
I’ve been blessed in 2013. From the singing, dancing, baking and cooking, all the way to the heartfelt hugs from my nieces and the support from my family. And winning Monopoly on Christmas Day. Let’s not forget the important things, too!
I hope you find your way through 2014 with smiles, laughter, love and a few devoted arse-kicking friends!
Here’s to us, and to what we’re about to achieve…
