Monday 13 July 2015

Seeing the wood for the trees

In the last few weeks I’ve been inspired by so many different people.  From individuals to local communities and the whole nation.  But bear with me, because this isn’t as simple a post as it sounds.

It’s an easy thing to sit back on the sofa and let yourself be buried by your problems and emotions.  It’s easy to let the world pass you by, to wish that other people would notice you, maybe call you occasionally just to ask how you are.  It can become painfully difficult if not at times impossible to open the front door and step through it, or to pick up the phone and ask others exactly the same as you wish they would ask you.  It’s easy to feel that no one cares, but if we don’t show that we as individuals care about others, too, why would they bother?

I sometimes worry when we have a long break from choir, especially for summer.  I worry that over those two months I’ll become a loner again, that I won’t see the friends I’ve made because they’re so busy with their own lives, and quite rightly.  I worry that I’ll start to rely too heavily again on social media to the point where I become a virtual recluse, because on Facebook and Twitter people are always there somewhere… within reach if not physically there.

Then I remind myself that by worrying about these things I’m also acknowledging that something could, and should, be done, and that I’m the only one who can make the changes needed to stop me once again becoming a hermit.

At our last choir session before we finished for the summer we were all reminded of everything we’ve done together over the last year.  In glorious Technicolor and with an added guitar and dozens of voices, I was shown what a community can be and what it can achieve.  You’d think I’d already know seeing as I was involved with most of it, but even being in the centre of the events it’s easy to become detached.  Just one small example; I joined a (very) short part of the community walk during One Red Sunflower on the Wednesday evening.  A few people talked to me while we walked, but very quickly people passed me.  I was hobbling along with my walking stick feeling every last step through to my core, and after only 5 minutes I found I was alone.  There was a mass of bodies ahead of me, another behind, and there I was toddling along on my lonesome.  I wondered whether it was my imagination, but later that week I saw a short clip of the walk and yes, there I was like a big pink place marker.   I was walking with people for a week-long event intended to connect with people, and  I felt incredibly alone.

Now, it would be very easy to lay blame on others for things we feel they’ve done to us, but if we sit back and really consider everything I’d lay money on the fact that we’re at least partly (if not wholly in some cases) responsible ourselves.  During that walk a few people did talk to me, but there were a couple I knew to whom I’d said to go on ahead because I knew I was slow.  I told them to leave me behind.  Did I try to engage with the people walking past me that I didn’t know?  Not really, because I was concentrating on each of those painful steps and just trying to reach the end point without my legs giving up on me.  I made myself feel alone.  I’m adult and intelligent enough to recognise when I’m my own worst enemy.

All of that said, the events done with Stockton Town Choir were remarkable achievements showing what both individuals and whole communities can achieve.  From one man with an idea, to pockets of the community, schools, churches and organisations coming together for one common cause; to feel connected (there were other reasons for each, of course, but connection seems to be at the core of everything here).  Whether by remembering the fallen 1245 soldiers from the borough of Stockton-on-Tees, whispering a positive message across the borough, singing as part of a giant Christmas tree, holding candles at the Festival of Light & Sound, cooking with Matty for choir or walking and talking with people you would never normally approach.  However else I feel at individual moments, and for whatever reasons those feelings surface, there’s absolutely no denying the positivity that surrounds Stockton-on-Tees.

Another individual has, unbeknownst to her, helped rekindle a spark in me.  I know she’s wanted to write a blog for a long time, and she’s finally begun.  It’s personal, positive and heartfelt, and it’s so lovely to read.  I really do hope she continues.

And then we come to the nation.  Anyone who watched The Last Leg on Friday will already know about #legup.  Adam Hills announced that in response to the budget that leaves so many people so much worse off in our lovely country, we should do something positive to show our government what we’re really capable of achieving… by helping each other.  The government will continue to beat us down, but we will support each other.  So as of Friday #legup was born.

It’s incredibly simple.  You post on Twitter using #legup either requesting or offering help to others.  This being social media of course there have been some jokes on there, but the vast majority are wonderful.  They range from people just saying which area they’re in and that they can help people, or offering specific help or services, to people asking for help to raise money for life-saving surgery, or an individual asking for help to put together packs helping new mothers suffering from post-natal depression, or simply to help an individual find employment.  If you’re on Twitter take a look.  There are some incredibly inspiring messages and exceptionally generous people out there.

So what’s the upshot of all this?  That we don’t need to look hard to find inspiration and communities working together, but sometimes we need to make extra effort to see it all past our own problems.  It’s worth it, I know this from experience.  It’s also about looking inward to see what we’re doing to ourselves, because until we take responsibility for our own lives and recognise what we can change for the better instead of forcing blame onto others, we won’t be inspired.  We might make the right noises to say we are, but we won’t do anything about it, we won’t change and we won’t be any happier.

I’m taking a lot of long hard looks at myself and I don’t always like what I see (how many of us really do?).  But I have a very special future within my grasp as long as I stop using blame and excuses, and in turn it could be a very special future for others along the way.

So here’s to those individuals and communities who remind people what’s possible; the inspiring people who don’t even realise that’s what they are because it’s just a natural part of their being.  May you continue to grow, and may your influence spread like outrageous gossip on a drunken night out with your colleagues!