H.A.P.P.Y.: A Whisper Away

H.A.P.P.Y. was started two years ago because I became tired of turning on my computer and seeing negativity almost everywhere I looked. If it wasn’t bad national and international news, it was people just sitting there complaining about how bad their lives were without any attempt to take control and change the negatives to positives. A few years ago I was also one of those people until someone pointed out to me just how negative I was on Facebook most of the time. That was the day I picked myself up, gave myself a good talking to and turned it around. Not always, obviously. We all have our bad days. But we can choose whether to let the bad stuff pull us all down.

I don’t post here very often because I want to keep it as fresh as possible. I want the posts to mean something, so rather than just a weekly “isn’t life grand?!” babble that everyone would get sick of reading, I try to pick and choose the things, places and events that inspire me and I know will stay with me until my last breath.

And this is where we come to #theloudestwhisper

This has been on social media, local news and radio, and newspapers for some time, though mainly in the last few weeks (and especially days!), but do you know what it was all about? What was happening? Or did you skim over it and not pay it much attention so you could go and look at videos of cats playing with water a little bit quicker? I wouldn’t blame you. I love cats!

#theloudestwhisper grew from a tiny seed into a bloody great big forest in the space of about eight months, and it was in response to Love Productions (LP) making a street in Tilery in Stockton-on-Tees their focus for the new series of Benefits Street. It appeared that most people didn’t want them there, including a number of people living on the very street in which they were filming, but despite objections to both Love Productions and Channel 4 the filming went ahead anyway.

And then along came Mike McGrother. His intention was to show LP that it was possible to do things in a lovelier way. They could choose to film absolutely anything in and around Stockton, but they appeared to ignore the huge positives it has to offer. LP said they were giving Stockton a voice, but what they failed to realise but Mike put so succinctly, is that Stockton already has a voice and it’s louder and prouder than LP could ever imagine.

#theloudestwhisper was originally intended to last one day but so many people wanted to be involved that it was extended to two days, and what a wonderful two days they were! So what did we do? We played the biggest game of Chinese whispers you’ve ever seen. The game involved thousands of people and included businesses, schools, colleges, performers, all the way to a care home, bikers and countless individuals. And let’s not forget the council itself played a huge role in the event.

I’ll let the videos at the end of this post speak for themselves rather than going into the finer details of the event (which can be found here at www.positivelystocktonontees.co.uk). What I’d like to do instead is to tell you why I became involved and what I gained from the experience. Another voice, perhaps, that LP don’t even believe exists.

Put very simply, I became involved because I wanted to give something back to the community that has given me so much in the last two years, and because I believe so strongly in the message I knew #theloudestwhisper would convey. The reason for its conception is important, of course it is, but I know I would’ve wanted to be involved regardless of the catalyst.

When I joined Stockon Town Choir (STC) I didn’t realise that as well as finding my singing voice I would also find my inner voice. I was incredibly nervous and shy, and quite frankly when stood in the big circle of singers with Mike in the centre I was terrified of being picked on as a newbie! I’ve never admitted that before so publicly (and never to Mike himself (hello, Mike!)). Over the years I’d seen him perform many times with the Wildcats of Kilkenny so I had an inkling of how he’d interact with everyone, and I wasn’t wrong. But I was trying to blend into the wall. Me; a 5’8”, overweight woman with very red hair (back then, at least). I tended to stick out in a crowd. I still do!

What I didn’t realise when I turned up that first week was that I wasn’t just joining a choir, or indeed a community. I was joining a family. And in the last two years (remarkably I’ve never even missed one week) that family has looked after me. They’ve shown me respect and kindness, I’ve never once felt judged or ridiculed, they helped me to discover who I am and the kind of person I want to be, and I’m thankful every day that I took that first step and walked through those terrifying doors. Through STC my love of performing has been reignited and I’ve been involved with some fantastic projects, some related to choir, others not. I’m also now a member of two other choirs. Music plays a big role in my life now, and I’m not even all that self-conscious when playing my cello (badly, for now at least) in front of other people. Although that might depend a little on the person! I even found myself singing along, out loud, on my own, to songs being played at Ropner Park on Saturday. I would never have done that even six months back.

Two years ago I would never have even considered helping on a project such as #theloudestwhisper. I was too unsure of myself, I had very little self-confidence unless I was at work (and even there I can see how much my confidence has grown), and the thought of being so self-assured, cheerful and chatty with complete strangers was out of the question. But now? No problem. And I know without a shadow of a doubt that STC played a huge role in bringing that out in me.

The thing is, I’m not from Stockton. I don’t live in Stockton. I worked there for a while about ten years ago but until I joined STC I only really visited for SIRF. A couple of people recently asked why I would bother being involved with so much in Stockton if I’ve never lived there. Well, apart from feeling like I’ve been adopted, and discounting entirely the fact that I love Stockton ARC, Preston Park (and now Ropner Park, too), Tees Barrage, the growing and fantastic independent businesses, the community opportunities, the exceptional events and fireworks, the beautiful riverside, why would I only care about my own doorstep?

Since when did we only care about ourselves? Yes, okay, there are individuals out there who really do only care about themselves (and I’ve unfortunately known some of those people personally), but if that was the norm then fundraising events such as Children in Need and Comic Relief wouldn’t be successful. I know I’m in danger of sounding all fluffy now, but it’s true that our neighbours are not only the people who live next door. They’re also the people who live in the next town, the next city, the next country. Everyone is our neighbour. Without exception. So if I give money to Comic Relief to help buy mosquito nets to save the lives of people I’ll never meet, why wouldn’t I help a community that has given me so much in such a short space of time to stand up and, whilst whispering, shout about how much they love and how proud they are of their Borough?

In helping at a few of the whisper locations over the two days I discovered very quickly that I’d underestimated just how much people do love Stockton-on-Tees (and believe me when I say I thought I already knew!). The number of people who came to whisper, the number who volunteered to help, the number who arrived and left with smiles on their faces, and the number who stuck around afterwards just to socialise and keep the community spirit going long after the whisper had been and gone, was all testament to just how loved Stockton really is and how strong the community continues to be.

I know that despite the number of visible faces who ran, and were involved with, the event, there are countless others who won’t be recognised for their contribution by anyone beyond the core organisers because they’ve remained in the background. Everyone involved should be so ridiculously proud of what was achieved, and how successful #theloudestwhisper was (and no doubt will continue to be).

I would urge you to please, Please, PLEASE watch the videos, regardless of where you live. These videos are about Stockton-on-Tees, but they could just as easily be any town in the world. They could be about your own town there in the United States, France, Australia, Germany, absolutely anywhere. It only takes one person with an idea to turn a negative into a positive and to show what a community is really all about.

I think we should all take a lesson from #theloudestwhisper, not just Love Productions. We all have the capacity to do things and live in a lovelier way, sometimes it just takes a bit more guts and gumption to stand up and do it, without apologies or explanation but just because it’s a good thing to do.

I know we haven’t heard the last of #theloudestwhisper. In fact I’m counting on it. But in the meantime, instead of sitting back and accepting that all the negative things people say about where you choose to lay your hat are true, look around and see the positives, embrace them, enjoy them, then open your mouths to shout out your very own whispers to anyone who’ll listen, and tell them that they’re wrong. Tell them that THIS is my town. THIS is my home.

And we’ll continue to tell Love Productions and anyone else who’ll stand still long enough to listen, that THIS is Stockton-on-Tees!