When Sadness Falls

No one knows how they would deal with tragedy until it hits and most of the time we just don't think about it; things happen and we deal with the consequences.  Good, bad, destructive, healing, however we deal with it we just get on with it without much thought.  We know we're hurting and we know that the people around us are too, and we act on instinct.  Sometimes we hurt others more in the process and sometimes we're the rock for everyone else while they all fall apart, and we quietly shut ourselves away and let the broken pieces fall behind closed doors. 

Every last one of us has faced loss of one sort or another.  We all know how it makes us feel.

Yesterday I heard news of a tragedy and I was so saddened by it, and with the sadness went a thought to the victims and their families.  Tonight I learned that I know someone who was affected by the tragedy, and as I read some of his words it was all I could do not to cry right there where I stood.

I suppose it's human nature to detach ourselves from the bad things that happen to people we don't know; how would we cope day to day if we were deeply affected with every piece of bad news?  But bring that news a little closer to home and it becomes real.  It becomes something that could happen to us, too, and it makes the world a scarier place.

Tonight though, what I saw in other people was their concern and support.  I watched their faces as they learned of the sadness that's affected one of our own - and he is our own, as is his family whether we've met them or not - and I was further moved by everyone's sadness.  There was such a range of ages, backgrounds, beliefs, nationalities and values stood in that room, and yet we all felt the same as we learned the news.  I didn't need to ask anyone because I could see it right there on their faces.

Tonight there was sadness, of course there was.  There still is.  Alongside that, however, is the realisation that when you touch lives in a positive way, the support you have when the bad things happen is immeasurable.  Many people don't voice their thoughts because they think the person they want to help has heard it all before, and "we'd offer but we can't really help anyway", or they feel uncomfortable or nervous of the reaction.  Some people simply find it difficult to say what they need to say; they can't find the words.

The words don't always matter, though.  Actions speak so loudly when they come from the heart; a hug, a handshake, a sincere look, a smile; they can all say more than any words.

So many people out there have made a real difference to many, many people's lives, whether for just a brief moment or whether they've passed on a long term, ongoing general feeling of wellbeing and a need to help others.  To those people I'd like to say on behalf of everyone who won't, everyone who's scared, everyone who can't find the right words, everyone who's nervous or who just can't find the right moment... you are loved and supported by more people than you will ever know.

To anyone who has lost their smile... yes, it might take some time to return.  It takes as long as it takes.  In the meantime we'll all smile for you.